"Along the way" is OUT NOW

Have you ever had a pet? Or more correct...

Have you ever had a dog? Have you ever been so lucky as to experience a dogs love, a dogs powerful bond? 

Have you, like me, grown up with dogs, felt their friendship from beginning till the very end, and even still after the end comes....? 

Have you had their love, their lessons, their unconditional love ❤️❤️❤️

My friend Klaus Chiesa just released a new song about his dogs relationship with his kids, the lessons taught by a dog, the way us humans would never be able to teach. Personally for me, the song sounds as if it was made for a movie about this exact theme, maybe even a Disney movie. It has such powerful message, such soul, such emotional vibe to it, and tells the story the very best way. It made revisit every joy and every sorrow of having a dog, every memory I have with one, old and new. The instrumental is also powerful in itself with violins and other magnificent instruments. 

Have you ever had a bond with a dog, this song is for you ❤️

Having grown up with many dogs as my best, and only, friends... And also continuing in my grown up life to create bonds with dogs. They never stop giving their love, their lessons, their everything.

Cause you are their world. And they are the only ones that will ever truly love you for who you are I suppose. Dogs never care if you are proper dressed. If your make up look bad. If you have a bad hair day. They love you as you, no matter what. 

Absolutely beautiful song I recommend everyone to hear ❤️🥹

OUT NOW ❤️ 

Listen here ❤️

- Merry - 

When the Radio Answered My Heart

On Wednesday, as I was driving towards Sweden, something happened that I still can't quite explain.

I had been on the road for hours when my eyes briefly drifted to the clock on the dashboard.

20:35.

Without thinking, my mind traveled somewhere else. To another place. Another bubble where I normally would spend my time at that hour...

At that exact hour, I usually know where I am.

There, in a livestream, where music has become a safe place. A place where melodies have gently pulled tears from corners of my soul I had kept locked away for years. A place that has also given me something I wasn't sure I would ever find again...

Joy. Genuine, uncomplicated joy. And a place where I genuinely felt appreciated and important. That I mattered... 

And in that moment, I missed it.

I missed the laughter. The familiar faces. The conversations. His voice.

My wonderfully goofy Latino-German friend, whose voice still sounds almost too beautiful to be real.

As I kept driving through the wild Norwegian landscape, I found myself wishing I could be there instead. Just for a little while. In that little corner of the world where the rest of life grows quiet and the music carries you somewhere lighter.

Then it happened... 

As if the universe had decided to interrupt my thoughts...

The radio began playing that song.

The song... 

The very song that, a little more than three years ago, first led me to him. The song that opened the door to his livestreams, to his community, and to friendships I never expected to find.

Somehow, over the years, it has stopped being just a song.

It has become one of our songs.

For a brief moment, everything stood still... 

A chill ran through my entire body.

What were the odds?

I've never been very good at believing in coincidences.

So, for just a heartbeat, I wondered...

Was this a sign?

From life?

From fate?

From someone watching over me?

Or was it simply my heart trying to give meaning to a perfectly ordinary and maybe even slightly boring moment?

I don't know... 

A few days have passed now.

The moment still feels beautiful.

Still feels special. Strong. 

But I no longer dare to believe it meant anything at all.

Time is fragile... 

The wind keeps blowing.

Rivers never stop flowing, and no water ever stands still.

Life keeps moving forward.

And so will I.

But every now and then...

it leaves you with a moment that quietly settles in your heart... 

Not because you can explain it, but because you never really wanted to...

- Merry - 

Check out on Spotify

 Hey people of the world ❤️ 

First of, I wish to say a thank you to those of you who find their way to my little writing corner, my bubble, and also to those who return. 

Then I wish to say... If you enjoy music... I mean, who doesn't like music... If you would be interested in giving my friend, Klaus Chiesa, a listen, it would really mean a lot. 

Check it out Here. 

And if you do enjoy what you hear, please click follow and add his songs to your favorite Playlists. That would mean so much, as we are currently trying to get him to his next goal of monthly listeners. 

We are currently only about 4k away from reaching 100k monthly listeners, which would have been so amazing both for him and his community. 

So if you have some minutes free, and wanna help, please give him a listen ❤️ He have many songs, both originals and Coversongs. 

Thanks ❤️ 

- Merry - 

On the Outside, Looking In

Why am I always on the outside looking in?

Why do I always feel like everyone else belongs somewhere... while I'm standing at the edge, watching through the window?

Like they don't think of me when they make plans. Like my name never crosses their minds. Like I was forgotten before I was ever included.

Why does it always feel like everyone else carries some invisible magnet that draws people in?

What is it that they have... that I don't?

I've grown used to being alone.

Not because I wanted to be. Because loneliness became familiar.

Social situations have never felt easy. I've been burned too many times to walk into them without expecting the fire.

So I find comfort somewhere else.

In my own company.... Listening to music in my own bubble... 

In my animals...

They don't pretend. They don't play games. They don't make you question where you stand.

They simply love you for who you are.

Their hearts are honest. Their loyalty is quiet. And the only time they truly break us... is when it's time to say goodbye.

When does this feeling end?

The loneliness that follows you into crowded rooms.

The strange ache of being surrounded by people... yet feeling unseen. Feeling.... Different... 

Feeling like no one really understands you. Like no one truly sees the parts of you that matter.

I've become familiar with not being chosen.

With being the invisible girl.

Like Mia before anyone noticed her in The Princess Diaries... I always relate to her. I always say "That's me". 

I've spent more time feeling like the ugly duckling than the swan.

And even if I've learned to carry it...

It still stings.

It still hurts.

Every time I'm overlooked. Every time I'm forgotten. Every time someone else is chosen instead.

But here's what I've learned.

I choose myself.

Again and again.

I refuse to measure my worth by someone else's invitation.

I love myself, even on the days when the world forgets to.

Because they don't know my heart.

They don't know the battles I've survived. They don't know the kindness I carry. They don't know the love I pour into the lives that truly matter.

So maybe I've spent my life on the outside looking in.

But maybe...

Maybe I've been standing outside the wrong door all along...

- Merry - 

When Happy Songs Make You Cry

Today I listened to a livestream filled with wedding songs.

Everyone was smiling. The chat was full of hearts. It was a beautiful atmosphere. Truly. 

And there I was, quietly fighting tears... 

Not because the songs were sad.

Not because anyone had done anything wrong.

But because sometimes happiness reminds us of what we once hoped for. A dream maybe... 

Music has a strange way of opening doors we didn't even know were closed.

A wedding song isn't just a wedding song to everyone. Sometimes it becomes a reminder of promises once believed, dreams once carried, or a version of life that never quite happened... 

It's a strange feeling to be surrounded by joy while your heart quietly aches. You almost feel guilty for not experiencing the moment the same way everyone else does.

But maybe that's the thing about music... 

It doesn't just play melodies.

It plays memories.

The same song can make one person dance, another smile, and someone else remember a chapter they are still learning to make peace with.

None of those experiences are wrong.

Sometimes we grieve the life we imagined.

Sometimes we grieve the love we hoped would grow.

Sometimes we simply grieve the version of ourselves who believed everything would turn out differently.

And that's okay... 

The beautiful thing about music is that it never asks us to feel the same as everyone else. It simply meets us wherever we are. That's part of why I love music so much. 

So if you've ever found yourself crying during a happy song while everyone else was celebrating, you're not strange.

You're simply hearing more than the melody.

You're hearing your own story.

And maybe, one day, those same songs won't remind you only of what you've lost.

Maybe they'll remind you of how far you've come.

- Merry - 

My Kind of Cake: A taste beyond ordinary

For some people, nothing compares to chocolate cake... 

Others would choose red velvet without a second thought. Some swear by cheesecake, rich, soft, familiar. Others love something simple, something light... 

I think that's how life works.

There is a taste for everyone.

A cake for everyone.

Mine is... different.

The cakes that everyone else seems to crave, the ones they line up for and never stop talking about... they don't stir anything inside me. They don't make my pulse quicken. They don't shake my bones or reach beyond the walls I've built. They are not even close in pushing all my buttons... 

But my cakes...

They are something else entirely.

They're the cherry on top. The extra sweetness no one asked for but somehow changes everything. One bite, and the whole world tastes different.

The best ones don't simply taste good.

They undo me.

They lift me somewhere beyond words, somewhere weightless, where I can somehow feel everything and nothing at the same time.

Sometimes they quiet every ache I've been carrying.

Sometimes they become the ache.

Sometimes they're pure euphoria.

I've always thought my tongue was made a little differently. It seems to catch every flavor more intensely than most people do. Every note of sweetness, every hidden spice, every delicate layer.

So when I find my kind of cake...

It isn't just delicious.

It explodes.

It rushes through every part of me, breaking past every fence, every locked gate, every careful defense I've built around myself.

And for a little while...

Nothing else exists... 

Just the taste... 

Just that impossible sweetness that reminds me I'm still alive.

Selflove: A Haircut for My Hair... and My Soul ❤️

There is something so special about going to the hair salon.

It's more than getting a haircut. It's about letting someone take care of you for a little while. Letting yourself be spoiled. Pampered. Feeling cared for. It's almost like a spa treatment, not for your whole body, but for your scalp, your hair... and maybe even your soul.

Yesterday, as I sat in the chair, I felt so relaxed that I could have fallen asleep while he gently worked his magic on my hair.

I've been going to the same hairdresser for more than 20 years. Life has a way of getting busy, and sometimes several years pass between my visits. This time was no different. I hadn't been there since 2021.

After bleaching my hair multiple times and turning it into every color of the rainbow on more than one occasion, it was definitely time to give it the love and care it deserved.

The funny thing is, I originally chose him over two decades ago for two very simple reasons. He was the only hairdresser who could wash my hair without getting water in my ears, and he was the only one who never disappointed me when it came to creating exactly the hairstyle I wanted. Somehow, he always got it right.

But over the years, I realized there was another reason I kept coming back.

His calm energy. His kindness. His presence. He always made me feel safe.

And that feeling never changed.

Yesterday felt like meeting an old friend again. As he cut my hair, we talked about my trip to London, summer plans, holidays, music, rock bands, bucket lists, life, and dreams of exploring the world.... Oh and also Disneyland, to which he had been this summer. At one point, he even dared to ask my age. I think he was curious because of our conversation and how I reflected on life, and my maturity might have been felt. Since I didn't "kill him" for asking a woman her age, he laughed and shared his own age too. We both had a good laugh.

All the while, he cared for my hair with such ease and attention that I almost forgot I was at a salon. It felt peaceful. Relaxing. Like pressing pause on life for an hour.

Yes, it was expensive.

And yes, it was absolutely worth every penny.

Sometimes, selfcare isn't about extravagant vacations or expensive gifts. Sometimes it's simply allowing yourself to slow down and let someone take care of you for a while.

I realized the last year, that I want to become better at choosing myself. At giving myself the love and care I so often give to everyone else.

Because I deserve it, too. Don't I? 

And today?

My hair feels so incredibly light. Healthy. Soft.

And somehow... so do I ❤️

Before: 

After:

- Merry -