"In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe."


- Michael J. Jackson -

30.05.2026

Lotus

From waters dark and heavy with the past,
Where pain took root and shadows seemed to last,
A silent seed reached upward through the night,
Drawn not by fear, but by a distant light.

The mud beneath did not define its name,
Nor steal its softness, nor extinguish its flame.
Each scar became a lesson, not a chain,
Each tear a river nourishing the rain.

It rose through depths that sought to pull it down,
Yet surfaced still, untouched within its crown.
Not because the storm was small or kind,
But because its strength was anchored deep inside.

And there it blooms for all the world to see. 
A symbol of what wounded hearts can be.
For beauty is not born where life is pure. 
It blooms where souls have learned to still endure.

"From dark mud, I rise.
Not untouched, but unbroken."

- Merry - 

27.05.2026

Roll the dice

This was not the life you pictured for yourself... 

But the dice are rolled..... And you just... Roll with it...

What else can you do? 

What do you believe happen to a paper if you step on it, folds it, crush it, tear it apart? Do you still believe you can straighten it out to a fine sheet of paper after? 




No, you cant. 

The paper will never be the same. 

Same goes with human...


Will it ever end? 

Or do one have to make the change... 








20.05.2026

Weight journey

There is something I have been ashamed to talk about for a long time... 

Some people know I’ve been going to the hospital for check ups related to my weight. I started this journey in February 2023 after seeing a number on the scale that shocked me. I had never weighed that much before, and it broke something in me emotionally. And, well... I thought about my future, and my kids future... That I still wish to be here for them in many years to come. So I had no choice but to kick my own ass out of this. 

People who have never struggled with weight may not understand how deeply it affects you. The shame. The comments. Feeling uncomfortable in your own body. Feeling judged just for existing. Those things stay with you for years.

Back in 2010, I lost 20 kg on my own and was incredibly proud of myself. For the first time in my life, I could wear size 38 jeans. But even then, despite what others saw, I still saw a fat girl when I looked at myself. That mindset never truly left me. Sadly with pregnancy, weight got up again. 

So when I started again in 2023, I truly believed I could do it alone. And in the beginning, I did well. What helped me then was a wave of positivity coming to my life, motivation and faith in myself.

 For the first time in a long time, life did not feel quite as heavy, and that gave me strength to keep going. I lost 15 kg within a few months.

But life became heavy again, and slowly some of the weight came back. I felt like I had failed. I was exhausted from always trying to be strong. To always meet people's expectations. 

Now it’s May 2026, and after years of follow-ups, tests, and trying everything I could, my weight completely stalled. The doctors asked me again if I wanted to try medication, and they recommended it. I had always said no, because to me it felt like cheating. But eventually I said yes.

Honestly, I felt ashamed. I Feel ashamed. Which is why I haven't even shared it with my family. 

But today something happened that made me realize maybe this is helping, after a bit more than one month on this medicine. 

We were at McDonald’s, and for the first time in... I don't know how long, I could not finish my meal. I actually stopped halfway through because I felt full.

And weirdly enough… even though part of me felt guilty for not finishing my food, another part of me felt hopeful.

So this is me opening up about it. Maybe someday I won’t feel so ashamed anymore. I can hope...and no matter what, I will go forward without thinking about what others think or say. I am done with caring about that. After all, what I do is for myself and for myself alone ♥️ 




Keep shining, Keep smiling ❤️ 


- Merry -

18.05.2026

One step at a time



You know those people where sunshine, daisies, and rainbows just seem to flow out of them?

The ones who always smile, at least in the comments. The ones who constantly spread kindness, color, and light, as if negativity doesn’t even exist in their vocabulary.

And I love them for it.

But at the same time… I’ve lived on both sides. I’ve felt both sides.

So even if people who know me say I’m one of those people too, someone who spreads light, maybe they’re right. I do try to be. I want to be kind. I want to give love.

But we also need darkness to truly understand the light. To appreciate it.

And while some people post encouraging and positive words every single day, until it all starts sounding like background noise, the same as everyone else…

…my survival mode has always been laughter, sarcasm, dark humor… humor in general. Whatever helps me make it through the day. Cause I have been in hell many times. 
And... I think it is okay to acknowledge both sides... Cause no one is ONLY fine all the time. 

I don’t hate or criticize the people who carry glitter, sunshine, rainbows, and light every hour of every day, even when it becomes too much for me sometimes.

That’s their way of coping. Their way of surviving. Their mask.

And mine is laughter, love, sarcasm, dark humor, other humor and taking life one step at a time. One fight at a time.

Just some words today that I felt like getting out there... 


Have a beautiful day ❤️ 

- Merry - 

13.05.2026

Come home


Jeg undres hvor du vandrer nå,
min lille myke hvite bomullsdott.
Blikket mitt leter uten ro,
etter et glimt av hvitt mot grått.

Jeg roper navnet ditt mot sundet,
lar stemmen bære over vann, over fjell.
Ekkoet svarer tomt tilbake, 
ingen poter løper fram.

Hvor er du nå, min kjære venn?
Er du trygg et ukjent sted?
Eller ligger du alene, stille,
og venter på at jeg skal se?

Kanskje har du reist forbi oss,
helt til månen, stjerners land,
dit hvor ingen hender rekker,
dit hvor jeg ei følge kan.

Men hjertet mitt står fortsatt åpent,
hver natt, hver gry, hver skumringshavn.
Så finn tilbake, om du kan,
min kjære venn, 
kom hjem.

I wonder where you are tonight,
my little ball of cotton white.
My eyes keep searching, endlessly,
for one small flicker I might see.

I call your name across the sound,
my voice rings out for miles around.
But only silence answers me, 
no gentle steps come running free.

Where are you now, my dearest one?
Are you safe beneath some distant sun?
Or do you lie somewhere alone,
still waiting to be carried home?

Perhaps you wandered past our skies,
to where the moon and starlight rise,
to places far beyond my reach,
where love can only call, not teach.

Yet still my door remains unlocked,
through every dusk and every dark.
So if you can, come home once more,
my precious heart,
come through the door.


08.05.2026

Do things happen for a reason?

Have you ever come across a person... Or a moment... Some kind of butterfly effect in your life.... That led to an amazing journey? An amazing fate? Knowledge... Wisdom... 

For instance... What were really the odds that time, that day, that THIS exact video would appear on my feed.... And with THAT song...

Can I ask myself today if that person would be in my life today, if that video did not appear on my feed? 

And what if it was not that song? If some kind of algorithm led to these events... Me following one person.... And one other.... All musicians.... And this little act led this video to also pop on my feed.... and why would it be with THAT song, that happen to be one of my favorite songs... Maybe... If it was any other songs... Would I have scrolled on? Would I have stayed? I will never know.

Do you sometimes ask yourself why things happen?
And... Wonder maybe, do things happen for a reason?

Just some thoughts and questions that is stuck in my brain... 

07.05.2026

If tomorrow never comes...

If we were to go to bed, and not wake up tomorrow....

What would you have wanted to say to the ones you have dear?

To the once who make life more funny....
More worth living? To the ones that make you smile... Feel safe... To those that motivate you, give you strength to take the steps you need to take... Gives you the extra push... Watch out for you, in case you need it.... Gives advice... Lift you up... The ones that make your life worth living...

Most people go through every day as if we live forever. And honestly, we take it a little  for granted.

We say "Let's wait till tomorrow..." Instead of grabbing that chance today.
We don't say what we feel.... Because... Well, we are scared... Or we assume they already know... Or maybe we feel we have time...

But when that clock stops ticking... What then? What would you have wished to have said?
Or even done? Seen... Experienced...

For me? There are still so much I would wanna do before I go... Places to see...
Things to feel.... Memories to make...
I wanna feel alive, you know... Not just.... Live...


...and I wanna tell the people I care about...
What they mean to me ♥️

Somehow...