We’re already halfway through March. Time has moved faster than I expected, and I realize I’ve been quiet here for a while. I’m sorry for the absence. Life has been… hectic. A bit chaotic, honestly. Things have been shifting in ways that make it hard to keep steady footing, and lately I’ve mostly been focused on simply staying upright through it all.
Sometimes life changes you in ways you didn’t ask for. And then, somewhere along the way, you have to figure out how to find your way back to yourself. Back to the person you know you are deep down.
That’s easier said than done.
Because finding your way back also means choosing to be that person, even when others have already formed their own opinions about you. Even when they misunderstand you. Even when they say things that try to define you in ways that simply aren’t true.
At some point you have to decide: do you spend your energy trying to prove them wrong, or do you simply turn around and walk away?
Lately, I’ve been realizing something very simple. Life is too short, and my energy is too limited, to spend it on things like that. I don’t have the time, or the life hours, to carry other people’s judgments on my shoulders.
But the battle isn’t only with the outside world. Some of it is internal too.
I’m also fighting parts of myself. My impulses. The side of me that sometimes reacts before thinking. And at the same time, there’s another part of me, the core of who I am. The heart. The light that other people often say they see in me.
Maybe the next step is learning to see that light myself, to aknowledge it. Be proud of it. Not let others dim it.
Maybe it’s time to nurture it. Protect it. Value it.
Because the truth is, I’m happiest when I’m simply being myself, without thinking about what others mean about it.
What confuses me is when people see something else entirely. When they misunderstand who I am or what I mean, or my intentions. It hurts sometimes. I often feel like I’m the one who ends up being misunderstood.
Maybe it’s because of my fears. My anxiety. Social situations don’t always come naturally to me, and sometimes that makes things awkward or unclear. Words get twisted. Moments get misread. And instead of asking, people often fill in the blanks with their own assumptions.
But here’s something I’m slowly learning:
I’m not responsible for what other people choose to understand.
I can’t live my life trying to match an image someone else has created of me. That kind of life would never really be mine.
Right now it feels a bit like rebuilding after a hurricane.
How do you do that?
How do you rebuild solid ground after everything has been shaken?
I imagine patience is part of it. Rebuilding trust. Creating stability again. Learning how to stand without falling back into old pattern. Getting to learn what my heart really wants.
It means not losing control.
Not shrinking yourself just to make others comfortable.
Not trusting blindly when your instincts are clearly warning you otherwise.
And then there’s the harder part, the memories.
The words and images that stay with you, even when you wish they wouldn’t. Experiences that shape you whether you want them to or not. Some things can’t simply be erased, because they also carry lessons. Wisdom. Warnings.
So how do you just walk away from something like that?
How do you move forward as if it never happened, when it clearly changed you?
It does make you more careful. More skeptical. Sometimes it adds another lock to the door of your heart. Make you become harder. Tougher.
Maybe that’s not entirely a bad thing.
Maybe rebuilding doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened. Maybe it means accepting that the storm shaped the landscape, and then choosing how you build on it from here.
And yes… maybe this is me being a slightly dramatic writer again.
But sometimes writing things down is the only way to make sense of the pieces.
Either way... Only way out is through, they say...
Thanks for Reading this far ❤️
Keep Shining, keep smiling ❤️
Love from
Merry
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