I'm coming home

Today is the day we return home. We are traveling home from Oslo, after having been here since Friday. Visited our new, little, beautiful niece, our brother/son and his fiancé.

It has been nice. It has been fun. There has been a lot of laughter. It has been good to have time off from life back home.

But then things have happened at home that I have not had the opportunity to help with. And at the same time, you have also been nervous, anxious, restless for various reasons that I will not mention here, other than that January was a tougher month than I imagined. I really hope that February will be better. Or maybe March.

Every night I missed being able to listen to my now actually favorite musician sing. But for fear of being accused even more of being antisocial, I chose to be with the others instead of watching live. But I am so incredibly grateful that I have friends who would send me screen recordings of songs that were sung.  Like "Glimpse of us" ❤️ I actually can't remember the first time I heard that song and I loved it immediately, but I never found out who has it or what it was called. Now I finally know. And hearing it with HIM was ten thousand times more beautiful, so I feel very lucky to have a screen record of it when I couldn't be there myself in the live.

Have you ever felt lonely even when you're with a lot of people?
I do. Often. But for some reason, that loneliness ends, gets paused, when I'm in Klaus Livestream. When I hear him sing when I laugh with the others. When we have fun on discord. Nothing can ever replace that for me.

I used to feel less lonely. More included. More worth. More seen. Less alone. That team used to be my source of laughter and relaxation, my source of escape from everything else that weighs heavily on my shoulders.  To come in and let yourself be drowned in the soft tones of that voice and music that I fell in love with at first listen 1 year and 10 months ago. It has become a big part of my everyday life. His music. The calming effect it has on me.

So one evening, before I went to sleep, I had to put on my own screen record and hear him sing. And I fell asleep and slept better than I have in a long time.
I did the same yesterday, put on my friend's screen record where he sings "Glimpse of us", and again I was sung to sleep and slept better than I have in a long time, without worry and stress. And I woke up today and still felt that peace and relaxation. Without a trace of despair. Without a trace of sadness. Without a trace of stress and worry, which otherwise characterizes a good deal.

No words can describe how much I value that man. He may not feel it himself, but he is a miracle. Yes, then of course the anti-voice in me comes and says that we are all miracles.  But it must be said that his music has helped me personally a lot. It has become like a medicine that you need at least one dose of every day. And as a person that used to go to sooo many concerts, loving music so much, and it being such a big part of my life, but circumstances making it very hard and difficult for me now to do so now, I feel really grateful that he have Livestreams where I can just plug in my headphones and escape to another world, disconnect from everything. In some ways, it feels a lot More intimate than a lot of other things.

I hope to hear him sing that song again. It was incredibly beautiful.

And now, Beautiful Oslo, our paths diverge. But we will meet again soon. Now I'm going to go and cuddle my little niece one last time before we head home. Back to everyday life again.

- Merry -