The Dream...

This is so difficult. I dream about you ... and wake up to a completely different reality. But anyway, I remember the dream so well that it is as though it happened two seconds ago. I can still hear your voice talking to me. Tell me how good I am. How well the stories are. That you want me to write one on your site. A story about you. I remember your voice. It has made a deep impression in my mind, as it always does. Especially when you sing. But now I hear it always, talking to me gently and soft. I get frustrated by it. What I can not get, I yearn for even stronger. And I really yearn for a little hug. Some words. A smile. A gentle little touch on my cheek maybe. But to what advantage? So that I can go for months and dream about you even more? I do not want that ... What I don't have, I do not yearn for .... I hope. But it really is hard getting it out... getting you out... Cause it is as they say. Once inside your heart, it's a hell getting them out...

But I do not need to get you out of my heart. I have room for many in my heart. You have changed my look on life. I respect you. I respect your privacy. I respect your family. I look up to you, and are very grateful that you are who you are. Things you have said. Things you type in your songs. It has helped me to think of a better way of living, and to think more positively on life itself. To come closer to you, at shows and concerts, has also helped me cope with my fear much better. And I have seen kindness in your eyes. But I did also in his eyes, when I was little. So who can I really trust?

I will not compare you with him. For you are not him. And I do not believe that you are anything like him, in any way.
Why do I bother at all to write all this ...?
Just because of a stupid dream? I wish that I never dreamed that dream, even if it was good, and it made my day easier.
But I can not stop thinking about you now ...
And it hurts ...

- ML -