The day...

Today is the day.

Not to be overly dramatic or anything…

But today was the day... 

The day my life changed, for the better...

The day when light entered my life at a time I needed it most.

The kind of light that felt almost too good to be true.

I’ll let the words from the song For Good describe part of it:

“I've heard it said

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn…

…Because I knew you,

I have been changed for good.”

The song says the rest better than I ever could.

Because that’s exactly how it felt.

All these years…they meant so much to me. At least the good parts.

The part where light found its way in.

The part where joy returned.

The part where someone believed in me more than I believed in myself.

Having someone become the voice in my head that tells me not to tear myself down.

Learning who I was by learning to know others.

Learning, slowly, how to be social.

Finding myself piece by piece.

Finding my voice, even if it first happened in a virtual world.

Today, I don’t dare celebrate this day too loudly.

Maybe because I’m afraid it won’t mean as much on the other side... 

Maybe because I’m afraid it means nothing at all.

Maybe that’s just a defense mechanism.

Protecting myself.

Numbing it a little.

Putting on a “whatever” face, because life moves on, and there is always more to it.

But I can’t lie... 

Deep down, I know that special someone still matters to me.

I feel it when they make me laugh.

When they talk about their day, and I genuinely care about how it went... 

When they speak about the people they love.

Their pets.

The things and people that matter to them.

When they share something they achieved and feel proud of... 

I can’t help but feel proud too. Ridiculously proud.

Happy, in a way that feels simple and honest.

So yes…

This was the day.

And no matter where we are now,

this day will always mean something to me.

Maybe not loudly... 

Maybe not very publicly... 

But quietly... in that private corner of my heart where some things never really leave.

- Merry -